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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Going bananas on X:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Trending via WeChat:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Just shared via X:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Making waves on X:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

2 months ago

0

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

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Commentary:
"Life's simple recipe for success: ☕️ Drink coffee to stay awake, 🧠 avoid idiots to stay sane, 📚 read books for wisdom, and then just hit that repeat button! 🔄 Now, who's up for some caffeine-fueled enlightenment and idiot-free adventures?"

avoid, avoid idiot, book, books, coffee, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, idiot, idiots, lifestyle, productivity, read, read book, repeat, routine, self-care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

0

2 months ago

advice, away, finding, follow, hack, having, humor, life, life hack, match, me, missing, show, sock, socks, throw, trouble
Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

0

2 months ago

bad, credit, debt, delete, finance, finance joke, financial, hackers, humor, joke, just, mortgage, satire, technology, why
Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, caught, death, event, funeral, humor, irony, unexpected, wedding
Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

0

2 months ago

bad, caveman, critique, humanity, humor, i, invention, journalist, just, progress, satire, wheel
Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

0

2 months ago

always, archaeology, bone, career, career joke, humor, joke, paleontologist, pick, pun, science, science humor, seems
I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

0

2 months ago

better, cereal, explain, food, humor, i, morning, night, preference, snack, taste

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Threads this month:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

78 shares on Discord this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Seen just now on Telegram:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Going viral on WeChat:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Spotted on Messenger:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

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