Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sometimes you just need that reality check to confirm you're not actually living in a hilarious sitcom 🤣 Remember folks, no one wants to experience a pants-less commute! 🚗👖"

check, driving, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, just, leg, life, pants, sure, touch, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

1 week ago

body, body image, dumb, fat, humor, image, intelligence, IQ, sarcasm, self-deprecating, used, weight
God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

2 weeks ago

divine, God, humor, i, irony, joke, mysterious, mysterious ways, unemployed, unemployment, used, ways, work
TikTok? I still call it a watch.

1 week ago

call, entertainment, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media, still, technology, TikTok, time, watch
Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

3 weeks ago

exercise, fitness, hell, humor, i, ibuprofen, pain, pain relief, relief, somebody, support, work, workout, yes
Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

3 weeks ago

bargain, bargain hunting, comparison, deal, deals, designer, designer heel, flight, flight deal, heel, heels, humor, hunting, i, nonstop, people, shop, shopping, travel
You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

3 weeks ago

behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

17 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Just shared via Messenger:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Spotted on WeChat:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Just landed via X:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Trending via WeChat:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Spotted on Twitch:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨