Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Channeling some "let's merge holidays" energy! 🌲🍬🎃 Because if we're going to mix Christmas and Halloween, why not throw in some Easter eggs and a turkey too? 🐰🥚🦃

apathy, candy, Christmas, Christmas tree, coping, coping mechanism, decoration, eating, Halloween, Halloween candy, holiday, holiday season, humor, matters, mechanism, nothing, procrastination, putting, season, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

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2 months ago

beauty, confidence, delay, fashion, glow-up, haircut, humor, i, iconic, just, rugged, self-care, self-improvement, sometimes, style
Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

0

2 months ago

believe, event, excuse, humor, i, invitation, invited, party, sarcasm, social, social event
My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

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2 months ago

again, cabinets, eat, eating, food, household, humor, joke, kitchen, marriage, never, rearrange, rearranged, wife
A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

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2 months ago

bathrobe, being, clothing, comfort, deniability, humor, naked, pockets, relaxation
It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

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3 months ago

expectation, expectations, humor, Monday, motivation, please, sarcasm, voice, workweek
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

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3 weeks ago

advice, after, amount, back, book, books, bookshelf, cut, decision, hearing, humor, i, listen, listening, people, reading, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

38 shares on X this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

99 shares on Discord this month:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Making waves on Telegram:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Just landed via X:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Going viral on Instagram:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Just landed via Twitch:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨