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Channeling some "let's merge holidays" energy! 🌲🍬🎃 Because if we're going to mix Christmas and Halloween, why not throw in some Easter eggs and a turkey too? 🐰🥚🦃

apathy, candy, Christmas, Christmas tree, coping, coping mechanism, decoration, eating, Halloween, Halloween candy, holiday, holiday season, humor, matters, mechanism, nothing, procrastination, putting, season, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

1 month ago
attitude, card, cards, game, got, hand, hidden, humor, humor quote, luck, metaphor, play, skill, strategy
If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

4 months ago
day, day off, days, humor, imagine, just, parent, parenting, responsibility, straight, thinking, work, working
Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

1 month ago
bad, door, great, humor, neighbor, neighbors, next, people
I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

1 month ago
Aristotle, believe, fastest, humor, i, kids, laughter, once, parenting, screaming, start, stop
Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

1 month ago
analogy, asking, data, humor, restaurant, server, specials, tech, waiter
I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

1 month ago
awareness, care, confusion, humor, i, idea, me, pretend, stuff, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

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Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

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Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

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I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

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Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

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“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Going bananas on Twitch:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

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Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

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In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

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Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Making waves on Reddit:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

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Activity Log ✨

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

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I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

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Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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