Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Just shared via Threads:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Spotted on Telegram:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Shared recently on X:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've been preparing for the role of Night Owl Extraordinaire since childhood! 🌙🦉✨

alone, alone time, childhood, childhood memory, ever, girl, hanging, i, introvert, late, late night, little, loved, memory, myself, night, night owl, owl, personal, personal time, reflection, self, self-reflection, staying, stuff, things, thinking, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

0

2 months ago

activity, always, etiquette, fun, fun activity, gentleman, humor, machine, neatness, shaking, vending, vending machine
Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, chips, french fries, vegetable, vodka
I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

0

6 months ago

humor, i, inappropriate, inappropriate touch, sun, sunburn, today, touch
It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, basket, chores, daily, daily life, filled, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, laundry, laundry basket, life, money, nice, relatable, struggle
Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

0

2 months ago

big, boy, connection, feel, feeling, i, life, missing, never, relationship, romance, summer, sun
Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

0

2 months ago

cardio, cube, exercise, floor, got, ice, ice cube, just, kitchen, minutes, pick, trying, workout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

82 shares on X this month:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Going viral on Instagram:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Shared recently on WeChat:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Spotted on Facebook:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Just shared via WeChat:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Making waves on Telegram:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Going viral on YouTube:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨