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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Trending via Twitch:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Making waves on TikTok:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Shared recently on Slack:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Going viral on Slack:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Just landed via Twitch:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Trending via Telegram:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like you've been preparing for the role of Night Owl Extraordinaire since childhood! 🌙🦉✨

alone, alone time, childhood, childhood memory, ever, girl, hanging, i, introvert, late, late night, little, loved, memory, myself, night, night owl, owl, personal, personal time, reflection, self, self-reflection, staying, stuff, things, thinking, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

0

2 months ago

afford, area, gluten, humor, i, interpersonal, irony, lactose, relationships, self-deprecation, tolerances, well
I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, drink, humor, i, jittery, me, people, personality, picture
Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

0

2 months ago

argument, babe, bait, communication, conversation, humor, i, misunderstanding, okay, partner, playful, relationship
Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

0

1 month ago

age, alive, anniversary, colleague, everything, humor, longer, me, milestone, say, someone, work, working
The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

0

3 weeks ago

condition, connection, exhaustion, fatigue, humor, independence, large, life, modern, modern life, network, observation, own, people, self-reliance, social, social connection, support, support network, things, time, tired, trying, why, wondering
Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

0

2 months ago

convenience, drinking, experience, feeling, fun, home, money, night, night out, nothing, pub, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

49 shares on YouTube this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

68 shares on Slack this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Shared recently on Discord:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Making waves on Slack:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Shared recently on Threads:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨