Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Shared recently on Threads:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Breaking via X:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Shared recently on WeChat:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying my best to win the hide-and-seek championship while pushing a shopping cart! 🏃‍♂️🛒😂

anxiety, encounter, escape, escape room, every, funny observation, grocery, grocery store, humor, know, observation, room, social, social anxiety, social encounter, someone, store, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

0

2 months ago

am, appearance, aurora, aurora borealis, borealis, date, humor, i, joke, love, waiting
People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

0

2 months ago

breed, confusion, different, emotional, emotional confusion, happiness, happy, instability, irony, listen, mental, mental state, mood, mood swings, music, people, playlist, sad, sad playlist, state, swings, unstable
All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

0

2 months ago

choice, choices, decision, free, free will, here, humor, humor quote, i, irony, know, led, life, life choice, me, post, right, self-deprecating
We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

0

2 months ago

gratitude, humor, just, know, laugh, lie, mirror, reflection, self-image
In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

0

2 months ago

am, change, English, face, ghost, haunted, i, love, poetry, say, stranger, used
Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, disappointment, family, humor, i, parents, people, relationships, same, situations, threesome, time, visit, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Slack this month:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

85 shares on Instagram this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

11 shares on X this month:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Going viral on YouTube:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Freshly posted on X:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Making waves on Discord:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨