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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

Iโ€™ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Donโ€™t invite me if thereโ€™s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

If my son ever came out as gay, Iโ€™d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Not to brag, but Iโ€™ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Before I die, Iโ€™m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say โ€œthanks for comingโ€ and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Instagram:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My family asked me what I wanted for Motherโ€™s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Making waves on Facebook:

Blocking him isnโ€™t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Just landed via Threads:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Spotted on Instagram:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars โ€” the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxiousโ€ฆ like, what was that?

Freshly posted on Slack:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know thereโ€™ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Making waves on Messenger:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said โ€œThat would be like sitting in a field of french fries.โ€

Live now on WhatsApp:

Itโ€™s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things youโ€™ve had for the past couple of years.

Facial recognition technology, but for me when Iโ€™m talking to people Iโ€™ve apparently met before.

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Commentary:
"Imagine having a built-in memory bank in your brain for remembering those awkward 'wait, do I know you?' encounters… ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿง  #FacialRecognitionUpgradeFailed"

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, โ€œIโ€™ve been to a gift shop.โ€

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as Iโ€™ve gotten older, Iโ€™ve become more of a person who doesnโ€™t function at any time.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, โ€œBefore you leave.โ€ No. I already made the decision.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how Iโ€™m going to pass.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say thereโ€™s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If the apple really doesnโ€™t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Self-esteemโ€™s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You donโ€™t even need AI.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you like constant interruptions when youโ€™re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Live now on Messenger:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Live now on Pinterest:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Going viral on Twitch:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Making waves on Discord:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spotted on Telegram:

I donโ€™t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before youโ€™re finished your shower.

Going viral on YouTube:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Making waves on WeChat:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Going viral on Facebook:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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