Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine having a built-in memory bank in your brain for remembering those awkward 'wait, do I know you?' encounters… 🤔🧠 #FacialRecognitionUpgradeFailed"

before, facial, facial recognition, forgetfulness, humor, interaction, me, memory, people, recognition, social, social interaction, talking, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need a day off from myself.

1 month ago

break, care, day, day off, humor, i, myself, need, relaxation, self, self-care
At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

1 month ago

bible, drugs, humor, interpretation, irony, point, religion, sell, single, tell
It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

1 month ago

arm, arm rest, awkward, awkward moment, both, funny moment, got, i, mine, moment, movie, movie theatre, movie watching, personal, personal space, rest, space, theatre, thought, watching, weird
I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

1 month ago

chicken, cooking, emotional, emotional support, food, humor, i, oven, pet, roasting, support
When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

4 weeks ago

blame, car, car joke, driving, fault, humor, i, joke, little, me, patience, people, rage, right, road, road humor, road rage, sarcastic, slow, traffic
I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

1 month ago

boss, humor, i, me, person, productivity, self, should, transformation, work, working, workplace

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Slack this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

93 shares on Threads this month:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

44 shares on Discord this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

28 shares on X this month:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Making waves on Facebook:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Just landed via WeChat:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Freshly posted on X:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Just landed via TikTok:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Making waves on Facebook:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Making waves on Instagram:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Trending via Messenger:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I need a day off from myself.

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨