Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Making waves on Telegram:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Just landed via Twitch:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Trending via Instagram:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Just landed via Instagram:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Going bananas on Threads:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Seen just now on X:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you have a degree in Pretend-Giggling 😂🎓 #CustomerServicePro"

actually, customer, customer service, customers, facade, fake, fake laugh, humor, job, job skill, laugh, laughing, professional, professional facade, service, skill, social, social skill, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

0

2 months ago

ever, honesty, humor, i, irony, lie, lying, phrase, stress, time, worry
I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

0

2 months ago

battery, charged, charging, daily, daily life, humor, i, lay, lazy, life, phone, procrastination, relatable, suck, taking, technology
I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, job, jobs, politics, president, promise, satire, want, work
An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

0

2 months ago

employment, humor, internship, joke, satire, steal, unpaid, work
I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, again, attitude, frustration, humor, i, just, mad, ok, reaction
Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

0

2 months ago

animal, dog, gangsta, humor, patience, pet, poop, wait, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Slack this month:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

33 shares on Slack this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

46 shares on Threads this month:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

23 shares on Threads this month:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Breaking via Telegram:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Live now on LinkedIn:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Just shared via Reddit:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Trending via Slack:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Trending via Instagram:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Trending via Discord:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Trending via Messenger:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨