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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Just landed via Twitch:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Just shared via Reddit:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Going viral on Instagram:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Breaking via Reddit:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you have a degree in Pretend-Giggling 😂🎓 #CustomerServicePro"

actually, customer, customer service, customers, facade, fake, fake laugh, humor, job, job skill, laugh, laughing, professional, professional facade, service, skill, social, social skill, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

0

4 months ago

communication, humor, i, message, ok, paragraphs, recommend, recommendation, reply, saying, short, short reply, texting
Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

0

2 months ago

delay, distraction, humor, i, internet, just, laziness, need, procrastination, thing, whole, yes
If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drinking, humor, imagine, impairment, intoxication, joke, memory
Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, good, having, humor, peace, rest, schedule, sleeping, sleeping schedule, solitude, talk, talking, time
Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

0

3 months ago

across, glance, humor, me, Monday, motivation, personification, procrastination, room, threat, threatening, workweek
“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, answer, asked, beautiful, beautiful woman, dating, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate answer, interview, job, job interview, situation, social, social situation, weakness, woman, women, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

35 shares on X this month:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Trending via WeChat:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Just landed via Discord:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Breaking via Threads:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Trending via WeChat:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨