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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Just shared via Twitch:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Just landed via Facebook:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Making waves on TikTok:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Trending via YouTube:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Going viral on Discord:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, talk about puppy love! 🐶❤️ What’s next, a goldfish getting engaged? 🐠💍

animation, dating, dog, family, Family Guy, guy, humor, insane, people, show, TV, TV Show, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

0

2 months ago

bubble, forever, gratitude, humor, imagination, real, reality, reflection, thing, thought, thought bubble
Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

0

2 months ago

amy, Amy Winehouse, denial, fun, good, humor, morning, rehab, winehouse
Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

0

2 months ago

decoration, even, Halloween, humor, just, last, last year, pumpkin, scary, seasonal, year
I have to pee. Story of my life.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, life, pee, story, urgency
Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

0

2 months ago

$2.99, entertainment, frustration, humor, irony, movie, rent, service, services, streaming, streaming service, unavailable, unfortunately, want, watch
Having children is a pyramid scheme.

0

2 months ago

children, choice, family, humor, joke, life, life choice, parenting, pyramid, pyramid scheme, responsibility, scheme

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

91 shares on Discord this month:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Just shared via TikTok:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Live now on Threads:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨