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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Broadcasted on X:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Going viral on TikTok:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Trending via Telegram:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Shared recently on Slack:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Shared recently on Discord:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Spotted on Messenger:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Making waves on TikTok:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about loneliness and creativity, suggesting humorously attaching a coffee cup to your car.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a pet when you can have a coffee cup companion on your daily commute? ☕🚗 Just watch out for those double takes and friendly waves from fellow drivers! It's the ultimate way to turn heads and make friends on the road." 🤣

activity, car, coffee, coffee cup, cup, everyone, feeling, fun, fun activity, funny idea, humor, idea, interaction, just, lonely, roof, social, social interaction, wave

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

53 shares on Threads this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

79 shares on Facebook this month:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

82 shares on Slack this month:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

91 shares on X this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

25 shares on Slack this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Seen just now on Reddit:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Just shared via Instagram:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Trending via Discord:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Breaking via WeChat:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Trending via Slack:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Going bananas on Threads:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Trending via Discord:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Live now on Discord:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

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