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Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

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I hate when teachers put โ€œ?โ€ on my work, like I don’t know either.

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Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

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I am so lucky that I canโ€™t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when youโ€™re dumb.

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I received a DM telling me that Iโ€™ve offended some of you. Iโ€™m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

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My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

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Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

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Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say โ€œguess where I amโ€. The library?

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If you watch Home Alone backwards itโ€™s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

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When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

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Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Playful quote about loneliness and creativity, suggesting humorously attaching a coffee cup to your car.

Commentary:
"Who needs a pet when you can have a coffee cup companion on your daily commute? โ˜•๐Ÿš— Just watch out for those double takes and friendly waves from fellow drivers! It's the ultimate way to turn heads and make friends on the road." ๐Ÿคฃ



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