Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Seen just now on X:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Seen just now on Messenger:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Just landed via Slack:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Going viral on Slack:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Going bananas on Threads:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Breaking via Facebook:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Making waves on TikTok:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just hoping to find someone as committed to my well-being as Gmail is to freaking out over every new toaster I connect to Wi-Fi! 🔒😂📧

account, care, device, devices, Gmail, humor, much, new, new device, notification, relationship, security, sign, sign in, someone, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

2 months ago

20s, 40s, aging, forever, humor, life, live, oh, optimism, reality, uh
Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

5 months ago

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang
Getting road rage alone in my house.

2 weeks ago

alone, anger, anger management, driving, frustration, getting, house, humor, management, rage, road, road rage
You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

2 months ago

alcohol, communication, contact, danger, dangerous, date, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, me, relationship, social, social interaction, tell, want
White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

2 months ago

cautionary, cautionary tale, humor, lotus, taking, tale, time, time off, vacation, white, White Lotus, work
Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

4 months ago

app, back, close, digital, digital life, dire, feel, frustration, humor, i, life, open, procrastination, reopening, technology, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Discord this month:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

44 shares on Discord this month:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Making waves on X:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Shared recently on Facebook:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Spotted on Telegram:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Going viral on Discord:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Getting road rage alone in my house.

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨