First in my bloodline to scroll Twitter for hours. Posted onMay 18, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Breaking family records one tweet at a time! Related funny posts π€ Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived. I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident. Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today. Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: Itβs my cholesterol. This is the fastest December in the history of all December.