Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Seen just now on Threads:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Breaking via Threads:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your phone's the Sahara, but you still scroll like it's your job! 📱😂🧑‍💻

addiction, dry, dry phone, humor, much, phone, screen, screen time, someone, technology, time, too, usage

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

0

2 months ago

around, bed, break, daydreaming, humor, locket, longing, lunch, lunch break, neck, picture, procrastination, staring
Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

0

2 months ago

change, everything, future, generations, hell, humor, irony, live, never, precedenting, right, society, times, unprecedented
I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

0

2 months ago

confusion, construction, humor, i, know, next, next steps, questions, steps, understand, understanding
If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

0

2 months ago

automation, cashier, cashiers, consumer, consumer price, debate, economy, living, living wage, paying, price, prices, retail, self-checkout, wage, wage debate, why
Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

0

2 months ago

bra, branding, fashion, humor, Lululemon, melons, why
The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

0

2 months ago

beaver, Eager, humor, productive, productivity, pun, specy, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

86 shares on X this month:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Just shared via Reddit:

Aura is the real business card.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Going viral on Discord:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨