Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Just shared via Facebook:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Just landed via Messenger:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Seen just now on X:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Making waves on YouTube:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Live now on YouTube:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Seen just now on WeChat:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Spotted on Facebook:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Funny 4 billion years quotes

New funny 4 billion years quotes 👇

All funny 4 billion years quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

18 shares on Discord this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

28 shares on X this month:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

61 shares on X this month:

The future is buffering.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

88 shares on Slack this month:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

91 shares on Discord this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Live now on LinkedIn:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Just landed via X:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Spotted on Twitch:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Making waves on Threads:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Live now on TikTok:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you relate to me, get some help!

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