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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2153 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,315

Funny Quotes Topics

15,038

Funny Quotes Images

12,315

Updated

51 seconds ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Live now on WeChat:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Going viral on Reddit:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Trending via Pinterest:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Making waves on Twitch:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2153 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,315

Funny Quotes Topics

15,038

Funny Quotes Images

12,315

Updated

51 seconds ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Shared recently on Telegram:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Trending via Slack:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Making waves on Slack:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Just landed via Instagram:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Making waves on X:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

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