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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Spotted on Threads:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Just shared via Threads:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Making waves on WeChat:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Shared recently on Slack:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Live now on Twitch:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

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Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on TikTok this month:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Half princess, half menace.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, holding a grudge.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Shared recently on X:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Just shared via WeChat:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Going viral on Threads:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Going viral on Facebook:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You wish you had this many chins.

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