Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Just shared via Messenger:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Seen just now on X:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Trending via Snapchat:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Trending via TikTok:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Spotted on Instagram:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Making waves on Instagram:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Funny affectionate quotes

New funny affectionate quotes 👇

All funny affectionate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Discord this month:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

53 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Making waves on Discord:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Breaking via Telegram:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Shared recently on Slack:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Making waves on WeChat:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

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