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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Making waves on YouTube:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Live now on Facebook:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Making waves on Facebook:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Just landed via Pinterest:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Just shared via Threads:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Trending via WeChat:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Funny alcohol effects quotes

New funny alcohol effects quotes 👇

All funny alcohol effects quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Going viral on Threads:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Just landed via Slack:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Spotted on Twitch:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Just shared via WeChat:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

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