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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Trending via Threads:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Just landed via Facebook:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Making waves on Facebook:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Trending via Messenger:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Just shared via Instagram:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Shared recently on Slack:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

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