Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Spotted on YouTube:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Live now on Facebook:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Going viral on Telegram:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Going viral on Instagram:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Funny atheist quotes

Funny atheist quotes bring a dose of humor and wit to the world of secular thinking. 😄🔍 Whether you’re an atheist yourself or just enjoy a good laugh at the quirks of belief and non-belief, these quotes offer a clever take on life’s big questions. Dive in for some laughter and a fresh perspective on the human experience! 🌟😆

New funny atheist quotes 👇

All funny atheist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

44 shares on Slack this month:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You wish you had this many chins.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Trending via Messenger:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Just landed via Reddit:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Just landed via Facebook:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Spotted on YouTube:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴