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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Funny atheist quotes

Funny atheist quotes bring a dose of humor and wit to the world of secular thinking. 😄🔍 Whether you’re an atheist yourself or just enjoy a good laugh at the quirks of belief and non-belief, these quotes offer a clever take on life’s big questions. Dive in for some laughter and a fresh perspective on the human experience! 🌟😆

New funny atheist quotes 👇

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

1 month ago

atheist, belief, believe, conversation, humor, i, irony, joke, skepticism, well, wit
I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

1 month ago

atheist, belief, humor, prayer, prayers, religion, send, skepticism, thought, thoughts

All funny atheist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

74 shares on Discord this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,775

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Just shared via Facebook:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Live now on Slack:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Live now on Slack:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Breaking via Threads:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Going bananas on Threads:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

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