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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Making waves on YouTube:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Spotted on Facebook:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Shared recently on Threads:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Making waves on Telegram:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Funny attention seeker quotes

New funny attention seeker quotes 👇

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

2 days ago

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Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

2 weeks ago

attention, attention seeker, cheesecake, dislike, food, food preference, humor, preference, seeker

All funny attention seeker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

96 shares on Facebook this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

96 shares on X this month:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

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Funny attention seeker quotes

New funny attention seeker quotes 👇

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

All funny attention seeker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨