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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Going viral on X:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Live now on WeChat:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Trending via Instagram:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Reported on Discord:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Trending via Twitch:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Going viral on WeChat:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Just shared via X:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Going viral on Telegram:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Reported on Instagram:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

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