Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Seen just now on TikTok:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Making waves on Reddit:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Talents: eating!

Shared recently on Reddit:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Going viral on Twitch:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Funny bad posture quotes

New funny bad posture quotes 👇

All funny bad posture quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

84 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Going bananas on Messenger:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Going viral on Facebook:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Trending via TikTok:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴