Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Just shared via X:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Going viral on Facebook:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Live now on Threads:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Making waves on Slack:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Funny bake quotes

Funny bake quotes bring a sprinkle of laughter to every kitchen 🍰😂 Whether you’re whisking, frosting, or just drooling over cupcakes, these witty words add extra sweetness to your baking adventures 🍪🎉 Get ready to giggle while you mix, because baking is as much about fun as it is about flavor! 🍩💬

New funny bake quotes 👇

All funny bake quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Just landed via Facebook:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Just landed via Threads:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Making waves on Threads:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Trending via TikTok:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Just landed via WeChat:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

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