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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Going viral on Telegram:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Spotted on YouTube:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Live now on Pinterest:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Just landed via TikTok:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Live now on Snapchat:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Funny being late quotes

New funny being late quotes 👇

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

0

2 months ago

arrival, attitude, being, being late, came, humor, i, late, least, management, never, punctuality, serious, should, time, time management, work

Someone from 🇩🇲 has recently shared this quote.

55 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny being late quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Slack this month:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

49 shares on Discord this month:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

99 shares on X this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

28 shares on X this month:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

57 shares on Threads this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Just landed via Threads:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Just landed via Threads:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Live now on Messenger:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Going viral on TikTok:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Breaking via Telegram:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny being late quotes

New funny being late quotes 👇

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

All funny being late quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨