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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Trending via Telegram:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Breaking via TikTok:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Just landed via Twitch:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Just landed via Threads:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Going viral on Facebook:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Breaking via Telegram:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Going viral on Facebook:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Going viral on Reddit:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Going viral on Facebook:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Just shared via X:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Making waves on Facebook:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Shared recently on Threads:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Trending via Instagram:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

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