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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Making waves on X:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Making waves on Threads:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Just landed via X:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Spotted on YouTube:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Funny blunder quotes

New funny blunder quotes 👇

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, blunder, bottle, co-worker, coworker, humor, i, irritation, miscommunication, office, office humor, over, personal, personal space, prank, situation, space

All funny blunder quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

56 shares on Threads this month:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

36 shares on TikTok this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Making waves on Slack:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Going viral on Facebook:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

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Funny blunder quotes

New funny blunder quotes 👇

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

All funny blunder quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨