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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Making waves on WeChat:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Live now on Discord:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Spotted on WeChat:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Spotted on Slack:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Going viral on YouTube:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Reported on Pinterest:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Seen just now on Threads:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Just shared via Messenger:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Just shared via WeChat:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Making waves on Telegram:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Going viral on Discord:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

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