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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Just landed via Threads:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Just landed via TikTok:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Just shared via Discord:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Making waves on Threads:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Just shared via Messenger:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

47 shares on X this month:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Making waves on Slack:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Shared recently on Discord:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Trending via TikTok:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Trending via Facebook:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Going viral on Facebook:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Going viral on Reddit:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

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