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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Trending via Pinterest:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Just landed via Messenger:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Shared recently on Instagram:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Trending via Facebook:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Live now on Instagram:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

89 shares on X this month:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

87 shares on X this month:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

80 shares on Discord this month:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

83 shares on Threads this month:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Trending via Messenger:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Spotted on Messenger:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Just shared via X:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

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