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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Going bananas on X:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Trending via TikTok:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Making waves on YouTube:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Just landed via X:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

41 shares on Slack this month:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

77 shares on Threads this month:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Just shared via Facebook:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Shared recently on X:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Live now on X:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

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