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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

4,033

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Shared recently on Threads:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Shared recently on Slack:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Just shared via X:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Just shared via Instagram:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Home » Funny Calming Quotes

Funny calming quotes

Funny calming quotes bring a splash of humor to moments of stress, turning frowns upside down and tension into giggles! 😂✨ Need a quick mood boost or a lighthearted reminder to breathe? These witty gems blend laughter with relaxation, making calm vibes contagious. Perfect for those days when you want to chill but also chuckle! 🌈😌 Ready to smile your way to serenity? Let the fun begin! 🎉🌿

New funny calming quotes 👇

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

1 month ago
calm, calming, cell, cell phone, communication, humor, me, phone, relationship, technology, used
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

1 month ago
beverage, calming, humor, i, irony, making, me, nervous, relaxation, smell, taste, tea
Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

1 month ago
advice, after, being, calm, calming, frustration, history, humor, irony, never, told

All funny calming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

3,574

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Going viral on WeChat:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Making waves on Discord:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Just shared via Discord:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Spotted on TikTok:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Breaking via Messenger:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

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