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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has viewed:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has viewed:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has copied:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via WeChat:

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Spotted on YouTube:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Spotted on X:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Just shared via Facebook:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Breaking via Discord:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Funny carpool quotes

Funny carpool quotes πŸš—πŸ˜‚ bring a splash of laughter to those daily rides filled with chatter, snacks, and unexpected sing-alongs 🎢🍩. Whether you’re stuck in traffic or cruising down the highway, these witty gems make the journey way more entertaining 🌟. Buckle up and enjoy the rideβ€”because sometimes the best part of carpooling is the hilarious moments shared along the way! πŸ€£πŸ›£οΈ

New funny carpool quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny carpool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Discord this month:

β€œI’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has copied:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has shared:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like β€œHey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has shared:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has viewed:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Breaking via Threads:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Shared recently on X:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Trending via YouTube:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

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