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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

49 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Trending via Messenger:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Trending via YouTube:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Making waves on Twitch:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Going viral on WeChat:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Spotted on X:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Spotted on Facebook:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Trending via Facebook:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Home » Funny Checking Out Quotes

Funny checking out quotes

New funny checking out quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Commentary:
"Looks like the scanner isn't the only one checking you out! 😉💳 Better watch out for those beeping hearts at the checkout counter! ❤️🛒 #SmoothOperator"

For even more funny checking out quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny checking out quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

49 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Just shared via Instagram:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Spotted on Facebook:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Shared recently on Discord:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Spotted on Facebook:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Breaking via Threads:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

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