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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Just landed via X:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Going bananas on WeChat:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Going viral on TikTok:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Just landed via X:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Trending via Facebook:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Funny child birth quotes

New funny child birth quotes 👇

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

6 days ago

birth, child, child birth, daily, daily life, family, faster, humor, i, kid, life, motherhood, parenting, put, speed

All funny child birth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

61 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

34 shares on WeChat this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Breaking via WeChat:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Just landed via TikTok:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Spotted on Messenger:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

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Funny child birth quotes

New funny child birth quotes 👇

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

All funny child birth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨