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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,791

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Spotted on Threads:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Making waves on X:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Just landed via Reddit:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Muting morons is good for your health.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Just shared via WeChat:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Just landed via Reddit:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Spotted on Discord:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I put the hot in psychotic.

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