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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Just landed via Reddit:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Just landed via Snapchat:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Just landed via Twitch:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

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New funny Cloudflare quotes 👇

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

4 weeks ago

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All funny Cloudflare quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

49 shares on Slack this month:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

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Funny Cloudflare quotes

New funny Cloudflare quotes 👇

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

All funny Cloudflare quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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