Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Making waves on X:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Just shared via Slack:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Breaking via Messenger:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Just landed via TikTok:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Funny colour quotes

Funny colour quotes 🎨 bring a splash of laughter to your day, turning ordinary hues into extraordinary giggles! Whether you’re feeling blue 💙 or seeing red 🔴, these witty words brighten moods and paint smiles everywhere. Get ready to add a pop of fun to your feed with colourful humor that’s as vibrant as a rainbow 🌈!

New funny colour quotes 👇

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

2 days ago

back, color, colour, everyone, favorite, favourite, getting, married, pregnant
Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

6 days ago

clothing, colour, fashion, humor, illegal, joke, leggings, should, skin, skin colour, style
There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

2 weeks ago

colour, creatures, difference, different, fan, fans, favourite, favourite colour, humour, people, personality, purple, purple fan, things

All funny colour quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Facebook this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

54 shares on Slack this month:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

96 shares on Discord this month:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

76 shares on X this month:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All roads lead to disappointment.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Just landed via Telegram:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Spotted on Twitch:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Making waves on Facebook:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Just landed via X:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Just landed via X:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Just landed via Telegram:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

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