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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Shared recently on Discord:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Shared recently on Discord:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Live now on Instagram:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

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Funny comedy career quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Going viral on Discord:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Seen just now on Slack:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Just landed via Instagram:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Just landed via Messenger:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Making waves on Reddit:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

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