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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Going viral on TikTok:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Live now on Telegram:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Making waves on Reddit:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Going viral on Twitch:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Trending via Threads:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Breaking via WeChat:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Funny confetti quotes

Funny confetti quotes sprinkle a burst of joy 🎉 and laughter 😂 into any celebration! Whether you’re throwing a party 🥳 or just need a little colorful cheer 🌈, these witty words add sparkle ✨ to your day. Get ready to embrace the silly, the bright, and the downright playful vibes that only confetti can inspire! Let’s dive into a world where every little piece of fun counts! 🎊

New funny confetti quotes 👇

All funny confetti quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

59 shares on Discord this month:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Just landed via Discord:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Spotted on Messenger:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Spotted on Discord:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

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