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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Just landed via Instagram:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Trending via Discord:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Spotted on Twitch:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Live now on Reddit:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Broadcasted on X:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Trending via Twitch:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Live now on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Making waves on Pinterest:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Just landed via Slack:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Trending via X:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Spotted on Telegram:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

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