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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Just shared via Threads:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Reported on TikTok:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Seen just now on Slack:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Trending via Telegram:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Just shared via Discord:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Trending via Discord:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Just landed via WeChat:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Making waves on Messenger:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Just landed via Instagram:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

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