Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Trending via Facebook:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Spotted on WeChat:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Spotted on WeChat:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Trending via X:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Funny construct quotes

Funny construct quotes 🛠️😂 bring a lighthearted twist to the world of building, design, and all things construction! Whether you’re a pro on site or just love clever puns about hard hats and hammer time, these witty lines will nail your day with laughter. Ready to build some smiles and lay down a foundation of fun? Let’s get cracking with humor that’s as solid as concrete! 🚧🤣

New funny construct quotes 👇

All funny construct quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

88 shares on Threads this month:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize booing in the workplace.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Trending via Pinterest:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Spotted on TikTok:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

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