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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2063 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,225

Funny Quotes Topics

14,970

Funny Quotes Images

12,225

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Live now on Pinterest:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Going viral on Facebook:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Trending via Instagram:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Trending via Threads:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2063 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,225

Funny Quotes Topics

14,970

Funny Quotes Images

12,225

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Going viral on X:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Just shared via Reddit:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Spotted on Reddit:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Spotted on WeChat:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

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