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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Just landed via Facebook:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Making waves on TikTok:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Just shared via Instagram:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Going viral on Slack:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Just landed via X:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Going viral on Reddit:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Funny debating quotes

New funny debating quotes 👇

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

0

2 months ago

am, ceiling, daily, daily struggle, debating, humor, i, live, living, minutes, morning, morning routine, need, procrastination, routine, staring, struggle, thinking, tired, today

Someone from 🇼🇸 has recently bookmarked this quote.

37 shares on TikTok this month.

All funny debating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

55 shares on X this month:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Going viral on Threads:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Breaking via Threads:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Going viral on Discord:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Going viral on X:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Going viral on Discord:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny debating quotes

New funny debating quotes 👇

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

All funny debating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨