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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Reported on Telegram:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Spotted on Threads:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Just shared via Discord:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Spotted on Threads:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Just landed via Reddit:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Home » Funny Demise Quotes

Funny demise quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I need a day off from myself.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Live now on Telegram:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Trending via Slack:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Making waves on Facebook:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

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