Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Spotted on TikTok:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Funny demise quotes

Funny demise quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s final chapter 💀😂 Whether you love dark humor or just enjoy a cheeky laugh, these witty one-liners turn the inevitable into pure comedy gold 🎭🔥 Ready to lighten the mood and embrace the funny side of farewells? Let’s dive into some quotes that prove even the end can have a punchline! 😜✨

New funny demise quotes 👇

All funny demise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

93 shares on Discord this month:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

34 shares on Threads this month:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Trending via Telegram:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Trending via YouTube:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Seen just now on Slack:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Trending via Reddit:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

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