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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1885 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,047

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,047

2 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Just shared via Messenger:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Just shared via Facebook:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Spotted on WeChat:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Home » Funny Dieting Quotes » Page 2

12 Funny dieting quotes

More funny dieting quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Commentary:
"Trying to diet but failing miserably? Blame it on that pesky condition called being HUNGRY 🍔🍟🍦. No shame in prioritizing your stomach's needs over salad, right? 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between desire and necessity! 💪🍫 Who can resist the siren call of a sweet, delicious treat when faced with the daunting challenge of achieving washboard abs? Chocolate always wins the battle for my heart (and stomach)! 😂 #Priorities"

For even more funny dieting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny dieting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1885 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,047

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,047

2 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Going viral on WeChat:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Just landed via Reddit:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Making waves on TikTok:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Just shared via Twitch:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

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