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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

7 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,714

Funny Quotes Topics

15,370

Funny Quotes Images

12,714

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Trending via Pinterest:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Trending via Snapchat:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Home » Funny Dietitian Quotes

Funny dietitian quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

7 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,714

Funny Quotes Topics

15,370

Funny Quotes Images

12,714

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Reported on Threads:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Making waves on WeChat:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Trending via Instagram:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Going viral on Facebook:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Just shared via Twitch:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

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