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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Trending via YouTube:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Making waves on X:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Shared recently on Discord:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Trending via Instagram:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

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Funny distracted driving quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Trending via Facebook:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Going viral on Reddit:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

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