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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just shared via Threads:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Breaking via WeChat:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Spotted on Threads:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Just landed via X:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Spotted on Discord:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Reported on Pinterest:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Making waves on Threads:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Making waves on Telegram:

My life coach traded me.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

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