Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Going viral on X:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Making waves on YouTube:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Making waves on YouTube:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Funny dull quotes

New funny dull quotes 👇

All funny dull quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

21 shares on X this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,776

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Going viral on Instagram:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Trending via Threads:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Going bananas on YouTube:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Trending via Slack:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Just landed via Threads:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Live now on Threads:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

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