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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Going viral on Reddit:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Making waves on X:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Live now on Threads:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Going viral on Twitch:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Live now on Snapchat:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Spreading quickly via X:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Making waves on Slack:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Going viral on Reddit:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Funny engineering quotes

Funny engineering quotes 🤓💡 bring a spark of humor to the world of gears, circuits, and calculations! Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just love tech jokes, these witty lines will have you laughing while appreciating the genius behind every design. Get ready to giggle 🤣 and geek out 🤖 with some clever twists on engineering life!

New funny engineering quotes 👇

All funny engineering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

98 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

31 shares on X this month:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Making waves on Instagram:

Talents: eating!

Just landed via Instagram:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Live now on TikTok:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Spotted on Discord:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

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