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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Body by sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Breaking via Reddit:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

Just landed via WeChat:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Just shared via TikTok:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Trending via Instagram:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Going bananas on X:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Funny entry-level quotes

New funny entry-level quotes 👇

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

1 month ago

2022, before, ChatGPT, chopper, comparison, entry-level, entry-level job, getting, humor, impact, job, job market, last, last chopper, market, realize, release, taking, technology, technology impact, Vietnam

All funny entry-level quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

25 shares on Slack this month:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

74 shares on Slack this month:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

17 shares on Slack this month:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Making waves on Threads:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Making waves on Discord:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Seen just now on X:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Going viral on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Spotted on Instagram:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Just shared via Instagram:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Going viral on X:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

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Funny entry-level quotes

New funny entry-level quotes 👇

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

All funny entry-level quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨