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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Live now on Snapchat:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Shared recently on Facebook:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Funny extraction quotes

New funny extraction quotes 👇

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

6 days ago

dental, dental extraction, extraction, forgot, glitch, God, humor, idea, just, modern, modern technology, patch, pull, random, technology, teeth, tooth, wisdom, wisdom tooth

All funny extraction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

93 shares on Discord this month:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Going viral on YouTube:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Shared recently on X:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Just shared via Reddit:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

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Funny extraction quotes

New funny extraction quotes 👇

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

All funny extraction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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